My first DNF (or Did Not Finish for those not familiar with race lingo). American River was supposed to be my second 50 miler, but instead it became my first DNF. Where did it all go wrong? At the time, I could name a half a dozen reasons, but in retrospect, it all comes to one major cause: I was not ready for another 50 miler. I had failed to respect the distance.
I knew going into the race that I was not properly prepared. Yes, I began my training about 6 months ago, logging in some impressive long distance runs between 18-32 miles, but rain and foot injuries and lack of proper sleep from working long shifts at night prevented me from following my training plan as much as I should have. I had to forgo about 6 major long distance runs and I know that hurt me.
The American River 50 Mile Endurance Run begins in the beautiful city of Folsom and ends in Auburn, California. Chris and I took Jet Blue the night before, arriving in Sacramento on Friday, April 5, 2019. After getting the rental car we headed to Fleet Feet in Folsom to get our bibs. We were presented with, not only our bibs, but very nice tech shirts (which I cannot wear now as I got a DNF) and an adorable reusable cup since the race is now cupless. (A concept that I completely forgot about when I got ready to race the next morning). I ended up buying some Tailwind (nevermind that I have not had Tailwind in years) for nutrition and some running gloves and sleeves. I was still contemplating on whether to wear running tights or shorts. I also bought a blue handkerchief with the race course on it, which is pretty cool. Regardless of my DNF, I will still use that on my trail runs.
Sleep was somewhat inadequate as it always is before a big race. We went to bed early so we could wake up at 2am since the bus would be there at 4am to take us runners to the start line. I was not happy to be up at 2am. Chris was not happy. The coffee in the hotel room was weak and lacking in the proper caffeine amount to wake two groggy and grumpy runners up. My first mistake that morning was inadequate nutrition. Usually before an ultra I would eat 2 bowls of oatmeal plus a bagel with peanut butter and a banana. This time I only ate 1 bowl of oatmeal and a plain bagel, because we forgot the peanut butter at home. In addition, the race did not even start until 6 am so I was eating too little too early, and I was already experiencing GI issues.
Mistake number 2 was the shoe issue. I knew months before the race that my shoes were getting worn out, but due to money issues I put off buying new ones. When Chris found out, he was rightfully upset and bought me a new pair of fancy pink Asics. I received my new shoes about a week or so prior to the race, which means that I did not break them in as well as I should have. I didn’t care too much, because they were the same brand that I always get. Or so I thought. Turns out that my new shoes were Asics Gel-Cumulus. I always buy Asics Gel Nimbus. This is an error I did not discover until we returned home the following Sunday.
Oblivious to my shoe nightmare, I put on my marathon pack, stocked with gels (thank you AJ!!!), a liter of water, granola bars, Band-Aids, Tylenol, tums, IPOD, replacement IPOD, sanitizer, headlamp, phone, and credit card in case I had to call an Uber to pick me up at the finish line since the bus to bring us back home would be leaving at 6pm, leaving us slower runners to fend for ourselves. I was planning on being DFL (Dead F-ing Last) not DNF! I also packed a drop bag with sunscreen, long-sleeve shirt, and my trail shoes as it was my understanding that the first 25 miles would be street and the last trail. I would change shoes at the half-way point.
We arrived at the hotel lobby about 3:45am. I glanced longingly at the complementary coffee placed for us runners. I knew it would be hot and strong, but I also knew that coffee at that time would mean multiple trips to the porta-potty! Be strong, Kendra! The bus promptly picked us up at 4am. It was creepy passing the Folsom State Prison in the dark. I secretly hoped we did not have to run past it! Many of us were under the impression that the ride would be an hour long, but it only took us 20 minutes to reach our destination, which angered a lot of people, including myself. The good thing was that we were allowed to stay on the bus until 5:45 am, but still many people complained, and I don’t blame them. What was the point of leaving at 4am only to arrive over an hour early! It was still chilly in the bus as the bus door was left open for people to drop off drop bags and rush to the bathrooms. At that point, I was already familiar with GI issues, which further exacerbated my anxiety issues. I managed to get in a quick 10-minute nap, but I was nervous for the start.
At 5:45am, Chris and I headed to the start. I put on my headlamp and headphone. I was already nervous to run in the dark in an unknown territory. However, since the first half would be on pavement, I figured I’d be ok. The race director advised us all to be mindful of the abundant poison oak that would be on the trail due to the heavy rain the weeks prior. Great, I thought, At least I won’t have to worry about that until after mile 25 when it will be light outside. I knew I needed to avoid leaves of 3 with regards to poison ivy, but was poison oak the same?? I had visions of finishing with rashes and blisters. Not the kind of negative thoughts you wanted to have at the beginning of a 50 mile race.
Shortly after we were off. The race had begun. I didn’t see Chris pass me at the beginning, but I knew he was working on having a great race and time and he would be fine. We went up a small hill and then headed up a trail, which freaked me out because I was under the impression that the entire half was to be run on street conditions. Here I was running trails in the dark, fretting over the sting of poison oak and tripping over roots, wearing my new pink running street shoes. I kept my head down watching for roots and rocks. Was that poison oak that just grazed my leg?? We heard what sounded like turkeys in the distance and I laughed as I heard the guy running in front of me echo the sound. The trail was a single-track, so we were bunched together as we headed up the hills as there was no place to pass others. No one wanted to run outside the trail in the dark for fear of poison oak.
I was running with a good group of people at the beginning. They kept me entertained and I listened to them talk about their racing experiences. One of the guys would run ahead and video tape his friends. He was planning on taping the whole adventure. I started having fun and wished I could run with this group the entire way, but I knew that we would be separated somewhere along the way. My shoes held up on the trail, which I was grateful for and I managed to not trip. A first for this clumsy runner who is known for tripping on race day.
After 4 or 5 miles on the trail, we headed on a rocky pavement, which reminded me of the beginning of Hacienda. It was here that I began the run/walk method. At this moment, I was still doing fine, running at an 11-minute pace and feeling fine. However, I lost the group I was running with on the trail before and I suddenly felt alone.
The rocky pavement only lasted a few miles. After that we were running on surface streets, past bridges and onto the American River Parkway. It was around mile 13 that I began to have trouble. I was running out of energy. I was hungry even though I made sure to eat my go-to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the aid stations and other various snacks. I realized that the breakfast I had eaten hours earlier was not enough. I had another gel and hoped I could catch up on my nutrition. At this moment, my legs and feet were feeling fine. I was just running on low energy. When I did my 50 mile race in Kansas, I had made sure to fill my pack with Tailwind, which provided me a lot of calories in liquid form. That Tailwind saved me, but since I had gained weight with my training and race in Kansas, I did not bother with training with Tailwind. I realized that was a mistake. I should have trained and raced with Tailwind. I would have been drinking calories and had the necessary energy to keep running. Not good.
A few miles later, my left leg and foot started hurting. A lot. I ended up walking a lot more, but then walking started to hurt worse than running. I remember this girl and I ended up running past one another. We’d talk about how we kept catching up to each other. I’d pass her and then she would end up passing me. It got to the point where I never ended up passing her again. The course took us up a long steep trail and I started crying. My left leg and back were hurting bad and I was still hungry. I figured I would drop at the next aid station, which was mile 20. I had about 5 more miles to go. A race volunteer was ringing the bell at the top, congratulating everyone on their journey. I was trying to hide my tears under my sunglasses as I told him that I would not be finishing this journey. He expressed his sorrow and went about congratulating the others. I felt like the biggest failure. I had never not finished a race before.
Those 5 miles to the next aid station felt like the longest miles ever. I was doing more of a shuffle walk/run. Once again, the pavement turned into trail and I wondered if my outcome would have been different had I just ran with my trail shoes instead of running in new Asics that had not been properly broken into. I saw a blonde girl in the distance who appeared to be in much worse shape than I. She was limping badly and the nurse in me took over. I hobbled over to her and asked if she was ok. She replied, “No. I tripped over some roots awhile back and I can barely run. I’m going to drop at the next aid station.” Her right foot was pretty swollen. I told her I was dropping too, and I’d help her get to the next aid station. I said I would not leave her. I gave her some NSAIDS to help with any inflammation.
So, we walked the trail, moving over so people could pass us. She told me the last time she did this race was about 3 years ago and we talked about our ultra-experiences. Runners love to discuss their races. She said she was upset, because her friend drove all the way here to pace her in the last 20 miles and her mom was crewing her. According to my Garmin, we were already at mile 20, but the aid station was still about another mile to go, according to some hiker who passed us from the other way. This frustrated us, but we kept moving forward, albeit even more slowly than before. We were amazed that we made it to mile 20 at a good time about 4 hours. We would not have been dropped had we decided to keep going. She saw her pacer in the distance, frantically running toward us to help her friend. About 15 minutes later, her mom came to help her. Shortly after, we made it to the aid station and said our goodbyes. Her mom was parked there and would drive her home.
I handed my bib over to the volunteer and told him I would be dropping. He said, “Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?” I told him if this was mile 35 or 40, I would have kept going, but I was in too much pain. I could try to walk the 30 miles, but that wasn’t realistic. I told him I was a nurse and had injured my back moving a few patients a few weeks ago. One of the other volunteers said she was a surgical nurse too and understood. We talked about how the patients were getting heavier and it was really hard to move them with limited resources. It was great to talk to another nurse. I asked them if I could have some coke for the road and then I realized I had left my plastic cup at home. Duh! This is why they gave us that cup in the first place! They said my hotel was within walking distance and pointed it out to me. I texted Chris to tell him that I had dropped at mile 20 and was walking home. He thought I was crazy, not realizing that the hotel was so close. I assured him that the hotel was within eye sight and that I would be ok walking the mile or so back to the hotel. However, I got lost trying to get to the hotel. It was Uber to the rescue!!! The Uber driver got me back to my hotel in no time at all!
Amazingly, I did not regret my decision. I was sad, but I knew I would not have made it the entire way. After my initial cry on the trail after mile 13, I did not cry again. While Chris was running, I showered and visited a local brewery. I was actually happy not to be running, realizing I would have been running by myself in the dark after mile 40 and would be eating a gel now instead of enjoying a delicious veggie burger, tater tots and a beer. While I was still disappointed, I knew I had made the right decision. I was not prepared. Never underestimate a 50 mile race. The decision to run one should not be made lightly.
Chris ended up finishing his. I waited for him at the finish. He kept me in the loop via texts and I was happy and proud to see my fiancé cross the finish line in a little over 12 hours. I was a little jealous that he got the AR50 jacket that I wanted so badly (even more than the medal) but he earned it! According to him, the last 25 miles were a brutal trail run with lots of rolling hills. I am amazed at all the people who finished it. Another finisher was a young teenage boy whose longest race was a 5k! He told the announcer that the 50 miler just seemed like a “fun challenge” and he started “feeling it at mile 30”. Ahh…the power of youth!
I finished this blog post about 3 weeks after attempting the American River Endurance Run. At this moment in time I do not have any plans of running another ultra in the near future. The only race I am registered for is the Tiki Swim in Oceanside in September. I will be swimming for 1.2 miles, which I’m excited and nervous about. I am not the greatest swimmer having learned to “swim” as an adult. I am actually a very slow swimmer, but I do enjoy it. Since I am getting married in October, I didn’t want to sign up for any races that would take me away from wedding preparation. In the meantime, I have been triathlon training for fitness and fun.
My goal was to always do an Ironman, but training would be difficult since I would have to do it alone as my night shift nursing schedule is erratic. For this reason and many other reasons, such as being on a regular schedule for my new family and not wanting to do nights and be “zombie girl” on my days off, I have decided on a career change. May 25th will be last day as a floor nurse on the telemetry floor. Starting May 27th, I will begin a new chapter in my life as an RN case manager. I will be working Monday through Friday from 8am to about 4:30pm, which will allow me to train with a group on the weekends and workout at night after work. It will also allow me to take swimming lessons on the weekdays, which I was not able to do with my current schedule. I am excited to start a new career that will hopefully let me reach my athletic goals and to finally finish an Ironman before I turn 50 years old! Maybe in another year or so, I’ll tackle another ultramarathon. You never know! Life is an adventure and we are allowed to change our minds! I’ll keep you posted! As always, thank you for reading!!!