running – Running and Caring

It has been awhile. Life got a little crazy…

I started a new case management job in May 2019. In an effort to fit into my wedding gown, I ran/walked before work, walked at lunch, and did strength training once -sometimes twice – a week. I lost about 10 pounds. I got married on October 5. We tried to follow a “running theme”. I became a wife and “official” stepmom. I gained back 5 pounds. In November 2019, I left my case management job and the hospital I was at for the past 5 years for a new job at a new hospital. I went back to floor nursing. I wish I could say it has been an easy transition. With any kind of change, stress is inevitable, and I have definitely been feeling the stress. However, I have lost the 5 pounds that I gained back, so that is one good thing. In addition, I’m learning different things and engaging with a new crop of sweet, colleagues, which have helped make the stress more manageable in a way. I’m on days right now, but will be returning to night shift next month.

When I transferred to the case management department, I was excited to work days and have a normal work schedule with weekends off. Yes! No more “Zombie Kendra” (as my daughter likes to call me). I went from being a bedside nurse, working three 12-hour shifts at night to a case manager nurse, working five 8-hour shifts. Both jobs are extremely stressful, but stressful in their own unique ways. Case management is mentally stressful. Somedays your caseload consists of 12-15 patients. Other days you have 30 or more. Many times, I would come home mentally exhausted and longing for the days when I only had 4 patients.

The job is a lot tougher than it looks. I remember when I first started, one of the bedside nurses told me, “Case management is the easiest job. It is just about finding out if you need a walker or not.” That was a very ignorant, insensitive, and untrue statement to make. I have an immense appreciation for case managers and case manager assistants, because they have to wear many different hats while dealing with complex issues and situations to provide a safe discharge. I am grateful to have experienced that world though. It has truly helped me to grow as a nurse, as well as provide me with tools to care for patients in a more holistic manner. I am also blessed to have met and worked with a wonderful group of case managers and social workers. I will miss working with them so much! They have taught me more than they will ever realize.

In a stressful world, running has always been my stress release. Unfortunately, I was finding it harder and harder to run with my new schedule and the frenzy world of wedding planning. In the beginning I started waking up at 4am to go run 4 or 5 miles with either myself, Chris, or a colleague at 5:30 am before work. I also started strength training at 24-hour fitness before work one or two times a week. My morning run transitioned into morning walks as I found I could walk in my work clothes and not have to wake up so early.

I also discovered WOOTrunning! I was fortunate to learn about Woot when I was a case manager in training. Sergio, one of the monitor techs learned I was into running and advised me to get in touch with Junior, a physical therapist at my hospital who hosts a running club. I met Junior, a very upbeat and personable runner, who invited me to run with his group on Wednesday nights at Fashion Island and Sunday mornings at Common Room Roasters in Newport Beach. It is Woot and Junior that made me realize how much I missed running with a group.

After my disappointing race and first DNF at American River, I sort of fell into a slump. Running became a chore and it wasn’t exciting anymore. In retrospect, I was probably just burnt out and exhausted from work and finishing grad school. It was a mistake to train for a 50 miler right after I got my MSN. I know that now. I should have focused on building up my fitness level again instead of logging in insane weekly mileages. No wonder I got injured. I was not ready. End of story.

I was nervous about running with a new group. I wasn’t fast. What if I was left behind? What if these people were running snobs? Junior assured me I would be fine, but I was still nervous. I changed into my running clothes after work that first Wednesday and drove with some trepidation to Fashion Island for my first run with Woot! I quickly learned that my fears were unfounded

What I discovered was a group of warm and encouraging runners who were excited about meeting new people and just running to have fun. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have to bust my butt to “keep up”. This group is fast! It just means that there is no competition between the runners. No inflated egos. Just a group of runners who enjoy the company of other runners. I love that!

On Sunday mornings, we would meet at a coffee shop in Newport Beach for a casual 3-4 mile run and on Wednesday nights we would meet at a different store at Fashion Island in Newport Beach for a 3-6 mile run, depending on if you wanted to run with the short group or long group. We would stop periodically along the route to take group pictures. We run, we talk, we laugh. It’s always a good time. Sometimes, I would dread the run beforehand, because I know I have to work hard to keep up, but I never regret the run. I actually feel more accomplished afterwards.

Unfortunately, my new schedule as a floor nurse has prevented me from running with my group as much as I would like. As a case manager, I had a set schedule that allowed me to consistently run with my running group, which is not the situation now. For example, this week I worked 12 hour days until 8pm at night on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday so it’s been a running challenge. I was able to do a 10 mile trail run this week on my day off so I’m happy about that.

I’ll try to be more consistent in my blog this time. I have some exciting races coming up: San Diego Half Marathon, Jack and Jill Marathon with my friend, AJ, and lastly, Chicago Marathon, which has been a dream for a long time. Hopefully, work and life stress will be less in the weeks to come and I can really embrace training.

Even aspiring vegans gain weight over the holidays! However, I am clueless as to how butternut squash and kale can make you gain a few pounds in less than a week, but I digress. As such, a trail run was calling my name, because the past few days were spent cooking all that vegan food that made me gain said weight. On second thought, maybe it was the wine…

Anyways, I decided to do a trail that I haven’t done in awhile, which is the Schabarum Grand Spur Trail in Walnut. It’s one of those trails that stimulates your lungs to scream as you go up, but you forget all about your near respiratory distress experience as soon as you reach the top and take in the gorgeous views.

It took me 40 minutes to get there as I had to take the 605N to the 10E and exit Grand. My car GPS told me to take Grand and make a left on Hillside, which is crazy because if I made a left on Hillside I would crash into the actual trail itself. So I kept driving on Grand until I could make a safe left into a neighborhood, ignoring my car that kept telling me to make a U-turn on Grand and then a right on Hillside, which means my car really wants to go to the body shop.

After I parked my car and put on my pack, I proceeded to run down Grand Street at a fun 9:30 minute pace to the trailhead, which meant I would have to run up Grand street to get to my parked car. That won’t be fun, because I will have to run uphill when I’m the most tired. I prefer to run downhill towards the finish, but that doesn’t always happen in trail races and I heard American River 50 has a nice lofty hill near the finish line. This means I just have to suck it up today and not complain.

At the Trailhead! (November, 19. Walnut, CA)

The trailhead off of Grand is a steep incline that transitions into some switchbacks. While they are not as bad as the ones at Sycamore, they are still tough, especially to a runner who is just getting back into the game. I run up one hill and then stop to hyperventilate before running again. Last time I ran here, I remember there being a bunch of dogs so I turned off my iPod when I got to the multiple signs that say “Beware the Dog”, though I was not on any private property. I passed a horse and it looked at me like it wanted me to keep him company. I suppressed the urge to pet its beautiful brown fur, however, I was too nervous of angry dogs, barking and jumping the fence to eat me alive so I ran off. I do have a healthy sense of self preservation.

Random Teepee in the middle of the trail

The trail is mostly shaded until you get to the top, which is breathtaking though windy. The ridge is not that long, but you can get a good workout running (or hiking) the rolling hills and the view of the city below is spectacular. One of the reasons why I love trail running is the fact that you get a sense of how truly small you are. I also love running in areas where it is not too crowded. I have done this trail a few times and I rarely see anyone here as opposed to Peters Canyon or El Moro, which is heavily populated. Today I saw no other hiker or runner. That was fine by me. I enjoy my alone time and sometimes I need to escape. Work is tough. School is tough. Life can be tough.

By the time I got back to Grand street, I had less than a half of a mile to go on my 6 mile trail run. I was tired, but I was also determined to run up the hill. I managed it by picking landmarks to run to before stopping for a break. People driving past me probably thought I was crazy, but that’s ok. At least I’m getting out there and moving. Total elevation gain today was 1,949 feet with an average pace of 13:24 minutes per mile. Not too bad for a 6 mile run. I’ll take it and see what tomorrow brings.

Tag: running

Running and Stressors in Life

Escaping to Schabarum Trail